Ef Em El

Today, I did something I didn't want to have to do. I broke up with my boyfriend.

We didn't have a long relationship, and I think it's better that way. He's one of the nicest, most caring and kind people I've ever met, but I just wasn't feeling a relationship in my life right now. I thought and thought and thought about it, and breaking up was the solution I finally came to, as hard as I tried not to.

I've been in great relationships as well as shitty ones. I've learned from all of them, and one thing I know is that when you are with someone, you think only of them. You want to be with them all of the time, and when you are with them, you don't even have to talk if you don't want to...or you can have amazing, in-depth convorsations. Either way is comfortable and warm and happy.

I wasn't feeling any of that.

It's so strange, though. I liked him...like him even still! He was kind and honest and romantically cheesey. Our first kiss was in a snow bank, with the flakes falling all around us. The only thing missing was that spark...the butterflies, you know?

It hurts. Terribly, it does. I feel so bad for having done this to him. He's angry, and I know it. Disappointed and hurt. I knew the second I told him that he wouldn't take it well, and that I'll be lucky if he speaks to me again. It's too bad. I enjoy his jokes, the laughs we've shared and the stories we've created in this semester and a half. I don't want to lose that. I hope he understands.

I love him for the few weeks of knowledge and insight we shared, as is shared between any two people in a relationship. Thank you.