Wednesday, August 26, 2009

4 more days...

I go back to school in four more days...I'm surrounded by a pile of mess that I just can't muster up the energy to put in boxes yet. Its so unbearably hot here, and my teeth ache from a recent brace-tightening. Packing sounds like a not-fun thing to do right now.

My summer was...uneventful. I worked two days a week at a law firm, filing and scanning and keeping out of the office manager's way. I went out with my best friend, Erin, a lot. We ate too much ice cream and drank too many Coke slurpees. My sister and I bashed each other constantly, and I saw Billy quite a few times.

Speaking of Billy, he took me to see "Billy Elliot: The Musical!!!!!!!!!!!" I've wanted to see this show since my 15th birthday, and this year, Billy took me to NY and brought me to see it on Broadway. It was outstanding.

I can't write...its so hot...I have so much to do...ugh.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

10 Day Forecast: Gross


Ten days. TEN! What is this?

This summer is turning out a little less like I imagined it would. For one thing, I have no job...well, scratch that. I've started a business with the boyfriend:

Fine and dandy, if we'd actually get some customers. Ugh.

I spend my days sleeping or knitting or writing...a lot of writing, actually. More than I've ever thought I'd be interested in doing on my own time. I guess that's part of being a Creative Writing major.

My borthday is in two weeks! I'm not asking for anything, except maybe that someone helps me pay my phone bill, since I can't ,and my service has been cut off. Its sad. I have about $2.80 in my bank account. I love being a poor college kid!

I'm off on a terribly boring rant, aren't I? Sorry. Maybe I'll try again another time.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009



I can't sleep. It may have something to do with the loooooong nap I took today...but the bed was so cool and the breeze was lovely blowing over my face from the open window...can I be blamed?

I'm home for the summer, and I HATE IT. Seriously, I hate it here. I love my parents, but I also can't stand them right now. It sucks. I know that my writing is less than eloquent, but misery makes my thoughts choppy.

I miss Billy, my loving boyfriend. I miss sitting in my friend Sam's "nest" on her bed back at school. I miss walking all over campus and having my own schedule. I miss making my own choices and I miss my lovely big bed.

My town is small. The people feel small. I'm not a fan.

In the two weeks I've been home, I've had to deal with a best friend's emotional boy crisis, my sister talking non-stop about prom next weekend, and the stress of being jobless after a tiff with the former boss at my last job, resulting in me quitting. Now, I sit at home and fill out applications while talking to Billy online or on the phone as much as I can. Sometimes I eat meals. Mostly I sleep.

Is it August yet? Billy and I are getting a place together next summer, or at least we're talking about it.

I need sleep. Yay eloquence!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm not studying for finals right now.

I'm listening to the Flaming Lips, doing laundry with my boyfriend, and sort of glancing at my German book every few minutes.

I'm in a list mood, actually.

A list of things that are different...changes,

!) I'm nearly a sophomore in college. Wow? Wow.
@) I'm in love. 100% actually, really, head-over-heels in love.
#) I've lived through an entire year of college without once getting drunk. Sure, I had a drink or two. Doesn't effect me. Now, the weed, on the other hand. Yeah, I felt that.
$) I've lost a lot. Pens...papers...books...innocence.
%) I've gained a lot. Pens...papers...books...experience.
^) I got sick a few times this year. No colds or anything. Weird stuff, like ugly itchy skin rashes, the flu, and pinkeye.

I need more sleep. And I need to finish this German work and study for my chem final. Blah.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I like free stuff

Today was free cone day at Ben & Jerry's, and $.50 iced coffee day at Dunkin Donuts.
Why, you might ask, do I mention this?
All in good time, my dears. All in good time.

First of all, the weekend was great. Billy (my boyfriend) and I participated in campus scavenger hunts, community day festivities, and a long hike to the nearby Elizabeth Park, which happens to be the oldest municipal rose garden in the United States. The roses aren't in bloom yet, but we had a grand time strolling the pathways and feeding the giant coi fish in the ponds before heading back to campus for a cookout.

After a weekend full of sunshine, spent surrounded by loving friends and relaxing activities, you can, I'm sure, imagine my disappointment upon finding that things aren't so great at home. First Dad called...then my sister called...then Mom called..."This doesn't bode well," I thought.

I was right. Turns out, Mom asked Dad to move out for a while so that he can get his life under control. Without saying too much, I can't say I don't understand. I may even, to a small degree, agree with that. However, I can't, no matter how hard I try, focus on school and social events when my family is falling apart.

Am I angry? Oh, you bet I'm angry. I'm so pissed it hurts. Really? Did any of this need to happen? As my mom said to me when she called, I know more about my parent's marriage than any of her other friends. Maybe even more than they do themselves. I don't pretend to like it. It can, in fact, be a little horrifying at times, and I sometimes think I may know too much. This makes it all the more frightening when I hear that my dad isn't living at home until further notice, because I've watched it progress for so long.

Which ties back into my ice cream and coffee opener: What better way to unwind after two days of gruelling family loathing and upset than a scoop of Mint Chocolate Chunk and an iced hazelnut iced coffee with cream and sugar? I haven't been sleeping at all lately, so the coffee (my fourth today...oops?) helped a lot. Now I'm settling in to do my German homework. I have to be up early to model a dress made of coffee filters for a friend's art class.

I know that my father, at least, sometimes reads this blog. I won't censor it for his benefit. This is here for me to rant and share. I don't want him to call me or e-mail me about what I've written here today. I don't want to know what my parents think about how I'm feeling right now. I'm not going to be over this for a while. I don't want to talk to anyone with whom I share blood.

I'm so, so tired.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I have poison ivy all over my body.

Last few days of school before Easter weekend.
I need to replenish my chocolate suplply. I just at the last of my m&m cache, and am already feeling the effects.
Oh dear.

Its raining outside. I did some school stuff, and then had hot cocoa and soup before settling in for a nap. Now, I'm pretending to brainstorm for the five page play I have due tomorrow, while really just looking at the cool patterns left by the raindrops on my window and listening to Holst's "The Planets" (which is, in case anyone wondered, my most favorite piece of music ever written).

On Friday night, I went to a murder mystery party in which I played Angel Wood, the movie star who pisses everyone off and then dies, and M.C. Award, the main investigator who buys and collects evidence from all of the suspects at the party. The party was a blast, and I got to dress up in fancy clothes and say "It isn't easy being this glamorous." How much better can life get?


In other news, my body is being taken over by poison ivy blisters. My hands and torso and face are riddled with little raised bumps that ooze. Gross! I'm soooooo itchy, and calamine lotion isn't helping at all. Oh dear.

Let's see...oh yes! Housing for next year is done, and I found an awesome chair by the side of the road which now lives in my room. I'm knitting a sock. I still need to do my taxes. I need new contact lenses. I still have to pick my classes.

Life goes on.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Silly Putty

I've just returned from my first day of classes after spring break, and I feel as if I haven't slept in months. Why is this? It could have something to do with the fact that I slept until noon every day of vacation and then had to get up at 8am today. I've done that bfore, though, and it hasn't bothered me too much.

No, I'm tired from worry and stress and anger. Going home this week should have been relaxing, or at least a break from my normal dreary school days. Instead, I found myself torn to pieces by my sister, house guest, and even sometimes my mom.

I guess I'm just upset at how bad things have gotten between family members. The constant drama is like a Delorean trip back to middle school. Ew. Broken-down doors, screaming and crying, and my sister throwing books (and one time, a roll of toilet paper) at my head. My thumbs are picked to bloody pulp, thanks to my long-time habit of shredding my own fingers in times of fear or stress.

I'm glad to be back at school. The end of the year is so close, and every time I think of it, I get a little sad. I got my room selection number today. I have to pick my classes for next year next month. Why did it all go by so fast? I'm going to go fill out a job application and then play with silly putty until dinner. Its nice to be here.